आज का यथार्थ.....

This poem which I am writing below is my favorite poem.....

ह्रदय छोड़ भाव गए ,प्यार और चाव गए
अब नही लगाव है , आभाव शेष रह गए
नियम रीति नीति के विधान जल गए सभी
कार्य सिद्धि के लिए दबाव शेष रह गए
आभाव शेष रह गए........

क्या पता भविष्य का हविष्य कौन कौन है
छल कपट निधान ही महान हो प्रमाण हो
नेह की नदी तभी बह चुकी यहाँ कभी
बचना लिए हुए कटाव शेष रह गए
आभाव शेष रह गए........

स्वदेश को सुदेश हम कहाँ अभी बना सके
चरित्र, सत्य, न्याय भी न न्याय यहाँ पा सके
आँख आँख है सजल होंठ पर नहीं ग़ज़ल
स्वतंत्रता के नाम पर चुनाव शेष रह गए
आभाव शेष रह गए........

मातृ ,पितृ, भक्ति को है मुक्ति मिल चुकी तभी
सुबंध भाव यज्ञ को कबंध ने दला कभी
पूज्य भाव धारणा बन चुकी प्रतारणा
दान, मान, नाम पर कलाव शेष रह गए
आभाव शेष रह गए........

भ्रष्ट आचरण ही जहाँ मंगलाचरण बना
न्याय, देशभक्ति की वहां कहां विचारना
सत्य, नीति के वसन असत्य ने पहन लिए
हम हमीं नहीं रहे छिपाव शेष रह गए
आभाव शेष रह गए........

अर्थतंत्र , यन्त्र ने विदीर्ण की मनुष्यता
कुशाग्र कर रहे कुबेर, धाम नीच दासता
त्याज्य क्या वरेण्य क्या, छोड़ कर विवेक को
क्षणिकलाभ के लिए खिंचाव शेष रह गए
आभाव शेष रह गए........

Wish I were a careless child.....

Chasing dreams taken me so far
Unfulfilled wishes still shining as scar
Scars as remembrance of battle defeated
Defeated by choice and afraid of being cheated.

Cheated again and again by time and fate
Former never comes in need and later always comes late
But I never gave up not knowing how
May be not learned but can’t afford now

Memories of those childhood dreams
Lost in midways making me scream
Those little joys and sudden sorrow
Enjoying every moment like no morrow

Everyone seems to be racing against time
Chasing wild goose beyond himself and always whine
No one has even got time to think
As they say “races are lost in a blink”.

Once there used to be tears for everything
Now I crave for a drop and find nothing
Cause as a grown up tears are not handy anymore
Again I want to cry aloud until get a throat soar

Again I wish I were a careless child
Knowing nothing about the bitterness of life
Having no big dreams with limited choice
Wondering without aim like a little mice.
As i promised...i have completed it....

Only for you....

This is something which has directly come out of my heart...... I have scribbled this on a piece of paper during moments of emotional resonance. And when finally I come out of all this I found that I have lost that piece of paper. So it was very natural like as soon as one discovers that one has lost something, all of a sudden it becomes very important and on the top of one’s priority list and that’s the exact situation I found myself into…..but after a long search one fine day I found that dear piece of paper(which is now more than a piece of paper for me)….i have written this poem for someone very important, someone I really admire and someone whom I dint get to know very well due to crunch of time….but whatever I know about her I really liked all of it......

A lot of things coming in my mind
At this moment with winding time
I have many things to say
Wanna pause the moments and sway.

Wanna spend some more time with you.
The only wish I want to pursue
Alas! Its not gonna happen again
Single thought drenched myself in pain


Every time I wake up in the night
Dreams of yours showing me light
Never wanna sleep again tight
In fear loosing it by morning light.

I can still smell your odor
Can hear your voice in my ear
I can still fell warmth of your touch
Wanna blossom all this as such.

Walking again on lonely road
Lost in memories denying to goad
Now missing your step behind me
The way you nag, the way you see.

For you I can do anything
Without you I am good for nothing
For you I can take any sin over my head
Departing you rather choose to be dead.

Time is ticking am loosing my mind
Loitering a lot having nothing to find
Hoping to get some beyond my sight
Loosing so much wanna make it right

Sounds of silence is all I can hear
Darkness inside me is only to fear
Keep fooling myself all this time
Wanna have someone who is all mine

The last thing I want to hear
Is a deny from someone dear
Its not possible to express the pain
When all the efforts goes in vain
But life goes on....

What is love??

Here is a story which i want to share and which has become much more relevent for me these days....
A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheatfield and choose the biggest wheat and come back.But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn backto pick."The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat,but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even biggerone waiting for him.Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts torealise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for better ones, but when later you realise, you have already missed the person...

This is not some story with cultivated from someones imaginations but it has its root down into reality, and I m the best example to corroborate it.....really u ll never now when to stop searching but when u do know,its always very late to go back.....

Observations.....

Hello diary the reason i was away from you is that i was searching some meaning in my life....now i am getting some of it but when the hunt will be complete i honestly have no answer for that....and also these days i am not only away from my diary but also from my other passions (poems and badminton) i dont blame my job for it but myself......hoping things gonna change soon.Here is an interesting observation by me....some days ago i was sitting at Marina beach(its in chennai) looking at the waves (since i was alone and had nothing to do) i find a very interesting nature of the waves.......waves which travelled all the way through silently and barely visible and only take its shape near the shore were coming a longer way to the shore but the waves which can be seen a long distance from the shore and were coming very fast towards the shore in a furious mood were always been pushed back by the descending waves.....same is also true with people around us(its my personal view people may differ...!! ) if you see closely in your's neighbourhood,ur office ,ur college or whatever yours domain is you will always find urself sorrounded by these two types of people and their achivements can easily be inferred by their behaviour as in the case of the "SEAWAVES".....and not only people around us but we also fall in one category or other its only our choice in which category we want to see ourself.it may sound philosophical to some but it is very near to the truth....sometimes we can learn many things from the nature if only we look into the intricacies of it.......

Chaand milta nahi sabko sansaar mein.....

Now a days it seems like life is playin with me,first i tried to enjoy it having no other options left...but now its overwhelming,seems like cant take it any more.no matter how hard i tries nothing seems to fit on the places,now its been so much scattered that i cant even count it and arrange it to its original places.now i realise that living in dreams can be the most dangerous at times and because of this life takes such a sharp turn which is totally uncalled for.....now i dont really know what i am thinking while i am writing these stuffs but unfortunatly thats the truth of life....while i am writing these things here it suddenly reminds me of a line which i think proves its suitability at this time,or in better words it can not be described better than this....."chand milta nahi sabko sansaar mein, hai diya bhi bahut roshni ke liye". At least this time this line could be a lot more inspirational for me ....better hope that i quit chasing the chand which now seems at least a wild goose chase for me,and start thinking about the ground reality,things which really matters in my life and which can change my life big time if i really give it a serious consideration. few lines which i have lately written are a good fit in the context....

ज़िंदगी ने हमको क्या क्या सपने दिखाए

सपनों में हमने क्या थे अरमां सजाये

एक ठोकर लगी खोल दी हमने आंखें

देखा सपनों के शीशे यूं बिखरे पड़े थे

जोड़ने की उनको जो की हमने कोशिश

जुड़ के भी वो अपने निशां छोड़ गए

लकीरों पे किस्मत बनाने चले थे
अब किस्मत की खुद ही लकीर बन गए

After a long pause......

So i am back again on screen with some of my recent experience......its really been a long time since my last post was published.....but its always better to back late rather not to come at all.after giving a good thinking i have decided to finally join IOCL over IBM.....and currently enjoing a lot in mumbai(not talking about the long boaring lectures in which i rather prefer to sleep but its really hard sometimes when there is no place to hide yourself....).after mumbai now its Gujrat refinery which is going to bear me for couple of days .....lets see what happens there.....meanwhile i have written some poems in between my sleeping in class(at least somrthinf good comes out of all these craps....). i dont remember all of the lines but at this time i can recall some of them so i better write it here.....

A lot of things coming in my mind
at this moment with winding time
i have many things to say
wanna pause the moment and sway

i dont remember other lines ......may be next day i ll be able to flash it in here........